


More than just an adjective

by SpookyStar29



Category: Lucifer (TV), NCIS
Genre: Comfort, F/F, Fluff, jellie friendship, kinda weird but cute, love and friendship - Freeform, real life person / fictional character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-07
Updated: 2020-10-09
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:41:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26875348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpookyStar29/pseuds/SpookyStar29
Summary: What on earth would make Jack Sloane leave her friends and her work in DC?Right. Her heart.
Relationships: Jacqueline "Jack" Sloane/Tricia Helfer
Kudos: 4





	1. a little extra

**Author's Note:**

> Anyone who is a BSG- oder Lucifer-Fan: yes, you read that name right. I have to say I am – usually - not a fan of these „real life fanfictions“. Nevertheless … I came up with this.  
> This is because I first: needed a new character as Jack’s „you-will-read-it“  
> Second: I love love writing Jack and I fell in love with Tricia.  
> And third: because Tricia is exactly the type of friend Jack would have (I think)  
> See this as a real life person slash fictional character kind of story

> **_I'm feeling something on the tip of my tongue_ **   
>  **_I'm holding back the words in case they are wrong_ **   
>  **_Could someone tell me what's the right thing to say?_ **   
>  **_'Cause I can't take you back to yesterday_ **
> 
> **_Under the surface, the cracks are grown_ **   
>  **_I know right now that it hurts to hold_ **   
>  **_I know you're scared, but you'll never be on your own, whoa_ **
> 
> **_If I could take your troubles away, I'd do it today_ **   
>  **_Just know that I'm here for you_ **   
>  **_If I could put myself in your place, I'd take all your pain_ **   
>  **_Just know that I'm here for you_ **   
>  **_You wanna cry, I'll be your shoulder_ **   
>  **_Be by your side until it's over_ **   
>  **_If I could take your troubles away, I'd do it today_ **   
>  **_Just know that I'm here for you_ **
> 
> **_~ Jack Curley_ **


	2. To the beginning ...

It was too much. All of it.

Her past was too much. Her trauma was too much. And now, her job was too much.

She had thought staying out of the field and doing good, helping and comforting people, would ease the ache and help her scarred heart to heal.   
It did, for a while. It had a lot to do with the people around her.

Until now it was exactly the people around her who were responsible for her current state of being, which was ... _bad_.   
Their latest victim died due to a headshot.   
And then she almost saw Nick getting shot.   
She was there, witnessed it, and she couldn’t do anything about it. She DIDN’T do anything because she was frozen, shocked, overflown by images of the past, so rattled Gibbs had to drive her home. And thinking about everything that had happened, too much to put on a paper, it was getting too much.

She had been an emotional wrack since four days now. Yesterday Leon had sent her home and she had gratefully accepted the leave.  
She didn’t let anyone visit her. She didn’t return calls or text messages, simply wanted to stay home, in bed, with dozens of cups of coffee and sugar and wonder when the hell she had become such a fragile, broken woman.

To be true, Jack Sloane wasn’t exactly sure what was going on with her.

All she knew was – it was too much. 

…

Friday afternoon was boring until she got a text from exactly the person in the entire universe she wanted to have at her side and simoultaniously dreaded.

Fourteen months ago.   
She had known her before they had started talking. They ran into each other per accident and she immediately recognized the distinctive features, the big, blue eyes, the smile that could melt a murderer’s heart and make men’s – and women’s – hearts flutter.   
They found each other at the same table in Jack’s favorite coffee house. The thing had been packed and she asked if the seat was taken.

She had seen her in a few series, in two magazines. Sometimes she still wondered how god was suddenly so nice to her and give her the opportunity to fall into a conversation with _her,_ a figure of Hollywood.  
They talked about … she couldn’t even remember.   
All she knew was they got along great, and as Tricia left, she asked with a smile if Jack were here often. She said yes. And Tricia said she didn’t know anyone in DC and would be staying here for some more weeks, and she wouldn’t mind meeting new people.

That was how she befriended an ex-supermodel and current actress whom she had to let go only three weeks later, since she had to fly back home to LA for a new role.   
They never stopped talking, held contact. And she was back, again.

Right now, that time.   
A horrible, horrible time and the moment Jack read her message she knew there was NO WAY she could get her to stay away. No chance. And she also didn’t want to.

I’m coming over, if you like it or not, but I know you   
need someone and I want to be that person for you

It was Friday afternoon as she heard the bell ring. She wasn’t supposed to turn and take a look at her image in the mirror. She was awaiting a friend, HER friend, and there was nothing more normal than inviting her in looking miserable, because that was it about good friends. They knew you at your worst. They comforted you. They dried your tears. She had done so, during Tricia’s divorce she was there for her, and the actress had listened to her story about Faith.   
They knew about each other’s flaws and what pained them.   
But that had been months ago. Because now, simply BECAUSE it was her, Jack found herself wiping her eyes, attempting to make herself a little more presentable so she looked like a tearstained movie star rather than a normal woman during a mental health crisis.

She checked her image once again and took a deep, slow breath.   
It was fine. No reason to look all pretty. She was home since more than 36 hours, she was feeling horrible, and she was expecting her friend to … cheer her up. It was okay to let the walls fall because this was Tricia. And yet, this was _Tricia_ , so she wanted to be good, look good, and …

The doorbell rang again and Jack jumped. Without any more thoughts she rushed through the hallway.

The first thing one usually noticed about Tricia was her beauty. The second was the realization of how tall she was. The third, sometimes, the way she walked. And the forth was her smile and her eyes. That incredibly bright, sunny, lively smile and these warm, beautiful, deep ocean colored eyes.

And there she was. After months of only seeing her on display, she was here. All tall and perfect with that sweet, adorable sexiness about her that drove Jack crazy – and yet never crazy enough.   
„Hi.“ She forced herself to smile. Knew she was failing terribly.   
Tricia’s lips, oh so kissable lips, were tilted into a faint smile that didn’t reach her eyes. „I suppose I don’t need to ask you how you’re doing.“ Her voice was soft and low, like always when she was being the nice, attentive friend instead of the crazy, adorable biker-geek. „I can see it.“   
Yeah, great. Mission failed.

„Come in.“   
She stepped aside before Tricia had any chance to pull her into a hug or run her hand over her arm, because Jack knew at lately that point she would not be able to keep the façade up. Everything about her was soft and sexy, sweet and sultry, edgy lines and smooth touches. It was literally impossible not to like her, and it was impossible to keep up lies.   
„Sorry for the mess“, she found herself mumble, only to try to overcome the silence. To her luck, Tricia jumped right at it.   
„I live with a bunch of cats”, was her answer while she took off her boots. Light brown, ancle high ones.   
“You here with a motorbike?”, she asked.   
Tricia looked up, eyes twinkling. “You know me so well, Jack.”   
She wanted to smile, tried to smile, because that was something their friendship had in common with the relationship she had with Gibbs – they understood each other so well, without needing to say much.   
But she couldn’t get herself to smile. Instead she wordlessly waited until Tricia hung her jacket up next to hers, and then … there was silence between them. Silence and so many unspoken words as they stood there, between the hallway and the living room, staring at each other. Even though for Jack it felt as if Tricia was reading every line on her face, as if she were exposed, her heart wide open.   
She blinked as her friend stepped closer and looked up. Knew exactly what a big mistake this would be because every single time she did focus on these pretty blue eyes she felt her another part of her sanity slip through her fingers.   
And then she hugged her and Jack immediately melted into her embrace.   
„I’m glad you’re here.“ Because yes, she was.   
Tricia nodded, voice equally low. „Of course I’m here.“ She reached out „I’ll always be here for you, Jack.“ She tilted her head, Jack could feel it, and she also felt the soft barely-there kiss Tricia breathed into her hair as she whispered: „Whenever you need me.“   
And that was when she couldn’t hold it up anymore. The first were the tears. Hot and burning tears streaming down her cheeks. Five seconds went by before she tried to breath and it came out as a ragging sob. She felt Tricia’s grip around her body tighten immediately, as if she knew she had to physically be strong for her, to hold her up.

They somehow made it to the couch. Jack was sure it had a lot to do with Tricia’s determination and strength that prevented her from ending up in a puddle on the floor. She stuck her face into her dark honeyblonde hair and inhaled her scent, used it as a lifeline, because right now she needed this, needed _her_ , needed something in her life that made sense even though her feelings towards her didn’t at all.

Things were never uncomplicated with Tricia, had never been. Tricia _herself_ was uncomplicated –unapologetically teasing, but that was just because she was Tricia, all graceful tomboy wherever she went, always inhabiting the posture of a model, whatever she did.   
And Jack knew it would never ever be uncomplicated with her, because SHE made it complicated. She and her damn heart.

She smelled like, what, cinnamon? Jack didn’t know, couldn’t picture it. It was simply Tricia. Something comforting, something bubbly, something sophisticated. And over all …   
_domestic.  
_ This was the scent of safe heaven. Even as a surfer she needed a safe heaven.

„Jack.“ She reached out to grab her hand and the movement set her body on fire. „Please stop pretending you are fine.“  
Another sob broke out, her heart cramping, her throat constricting.   
She knew she had to breathe, and for that, she had let loose …  
„It’s okay Jack, I got you“, she whispered, holding her closer. „Just let it out. It’s okay. Don‘t hold it back.“ Now she knew it. It was that olive-shampoo she had gotten from some friend of hers on Crete, a scent that was inexplicable yet natural, light, soothing, alluring. Simply … her.   
„It’s not so easy“, she found herself whisper.   
„Why.“  
It sounded more than a simple sentence than a question. And only after resonating it in her brain and sharpening her senses, Jack realized why.   
Something had changed. She _FELT_ it.   
Tricia had stopped combing through her hair. Every nerve in her body was tense, and suddenly the whole room’s temperature seemed … cold.

She wasn’t used to that, not in her friend’s presence.   
So Jack lifted her head, turned – and frowned.   
Tricia was looking down at her, but not with that soft, melancholic expression of empathy. Her blue eyes were glistening, her lips pressed into a thin line, the sharp features of her face visible.   
Without saying anything Jack sat up, staring at her in shock and pain.

„Why can’t you just do it?“ It was Tricia to speak first before Jack could even open her mouth. „You are always here for everybody, for everyone. Always being the listener, the good friend, the sunny, smiley one who promises to make the day better without even trying.   
You are the listener Jack, a damn good one. But you also need someone who listenes to YOU.” Her hand went up and she caressed her chin. The spot burned. Suddenly she was so close, closer then ever, so close Jack could feel her breath. “And most importantly, you need to LET someone listen.“  
She hoped the human body was able to live with a heart rate like that without suffering a heart attack any moment.   
„I don’t know if I can“, she breathed out, voice quivering. Her whole body was shaking.   
Tricia bat her lashes and a tear ran down her cheek. „I’m your friend, Jack.“ The way her voice broke at the word made her heart ache. „Why can’t you let me in? Why …“ She took a breath, a deep, rattling one. „I wanna be there for you, but I can’t help feeling there is this … this wall you build up around you, pretending you are fine all the time, and all I want for you is to trust me and …“  
„I trust you, Tricia.“ She reached out to grab her hands. „I trust you with every fiber of my body.“   
„Then why, why on earth do you bother pulling up a perfect facade whenever we are together?“   
Silence. Jack felt her cheeks become flamingly hot.   
That was it. No denying anymore.   
„Because you’re more than just a friend to me, Trish“, she breathed out, tears falling, voice low with sadness. „And I know I’m probably in between ruining this and … I cannot loose you, so it’s better you go, and …“  
She couldn’t bring the sentence to an end. Because as she stared into these eyes, into her soul, Jack knew there was only one thing she could do. Only one thing that was right, even though it was probably all wrong.

It was easier than she had expected. All of it.   
It was so easy to love her. It was TOO easy.   
One look, one quirky laugh, one seductive lip bite.   
It should be harder for her than it actually was to bridge the distance between them. Her lips were even softer than she had imagined. Her skin was more intoxicating than she had dreamed of. She was warmer than she had expected.   
It was TOO easy.   
And that was exactly what made it painful. And the pain, the reminder, the fear, was what pulled her back into reality.

Just then Jack realized what she was doing, and she broke away as if Tricia had burst into flames.   
_Shit.  
Shitshitshit._   
Her heart was beating so fast, so painfully against her ribs she feared she might faint every moment. Jack turned her head, bit her lip, tried to calm her raging heart. She focused on the wall, focused on anything else than the fact she was almost face to face to a woman who had her whole heart, whom she … loved.   
She dreaded looking at her. Afraid of what she would see there.   
“I’m sorry”, she breathed out, shortly before tears again. “I just … I couldn’t hold it back. Not anymore.”   
Tricia didn’t say a word. Jack exhaled. “You matter to me, Tricia”, she tried a new way of apologizing, of an “It’s okay if you don’t feel the same, I just cannot bear loosing you” type of thing. “And I know … I know this isn’t easy to just ignore, but I couldn’t fight it, I _can’t_ fight it, and I need you to know …”  
She felt fingertips on her chin and the words died in her throat. “Look at me.”   
Bracing herself, Jack did as she was told. Only inches away from Tricia’s face.   
_Please don’t run away from me, please_ , her inner voice pleaded.   
“Jack.” The way she spoke her name, so soft and yet powerful, made her tremble. The thum on her chin moved, caressing her skin.   
_Stop that,_ she thought, pained.   
_Don’t you dare stop doing that,_ her other side wished.   
“When I’m with you, or when we talk, or when I think of you, I feel things I haven’t experienced in a long time.” She inhaled. Never had Jack seen her so insecure, unsure of what to say, at least not in real life. “I know it all happened without any foreshadowing. Mysterious ways of the universe, I guess. How we met, I mean. And … I’m still not entirely sure what … what this is.”   
“I understand”, Jack got out, clenching her fists together not to cry.   
“But I like it.” She closed her eyes for a moment, her head jerking one time. “I don’t understand it, not yet, but I like it, and I don’t want it to end.” The next time she looked up the insecurity was gone. All that was left was … the fire, the passion, the look of a woman who had seen and experienced so much and was ready to conquer the world.   
“I think … if we both really want this, we can make it work.”  
She froze and her heart stopped. Wait. _What?_   
“Are you … are you serious?”   
Tricia nodded. She just nodded, nothing else.   
Jack blinked. “So you are not … ditching me or something?”   
Her lips twisted and she laughed. “Why on earth should I do that?”   
She didn’t understand. And yet she did. She just couldn’t believe that it could actually be …   
“It’s just …”  
“Unexpected?” Tricia tilted her head, smirking. _Good god._   
“Yeah”, Jack stumbled.   
“Is that a problem?”   
“No, but …”   
“No “but”, Jack.” Her hand moved from her chin to her cheek. “Just “us”.”

And then she kissed her.   
Tricia was _kissing_ her, right at that moment, and … she was floating. A sign slipped from her and she placed her left hand into her neck, pulling her close, right arm around her waist. And Tricia followed, no hesitation in her body language or her kiss, and it was _real_.   
This wasn’t a movie scene.   
This was real.   
The woman of her dreams, her best friend, was kissing her.   
Mutual. They were both on the same page.

As Tricia softly broke away all she wanted was pull her back, kiss her full force, and press up against her until there wasn’t a single inch between them. But she had to breathe again.   
Her whole body from head to toe was shivering, her nerves tingling, and her heart beat strong against her ribs. It took her almost thirty seconds until she found the ability to speak again.   
„That indeed was unexpected“, she whispered.  
Tricia laughed silently. “Well, not for me.”  
She blinked rapidly, panic rushing through her veins. “Pardon?”  
She wasn’t sure if it was just Tricia’s model-and-actress-skill that made it easy for her to change emotions, but she wasn’t sure how to picture that emotion. She clearly was amused, though. “Well. I noticed there was … something changed.”  
Her face fell and she wasn’t sure if she should be embarrassed or grin. “Since when do you know?” Tricia opened her mouth but she cut her off again: “And why on earth didn’t you say anything?”   
The smile on her lips was so warm and full of love Jack almost fainted. “Because if there is one thing I learned about you, Jacqueline, it’s that caging you is a no-go.”   
Now she went for a bright smile. “YOU” She leaned in close. “could never cage me.” She gave her a light peck on the corner of her mouth.   
“That’s good to know.”   
She rested with her forehead on hers, or better her forehead on her head, and that was just another one of these moments where Jack absolutely loved her height. She was so tall and solid, like a soft rock during stormy seas, and the way she could lean against her shoulder without needing to change position was perfect.

“I am so glad you came over.”   
“Then show me.” Suddenly her voice was full of heat again. THAT was Six speaking. Jack made the mistake – was it? – of looking up. Was faced with two blazing, blue-grey eyes burning into hers. “Show me and kiss me.”  
Jack closed her eyes and leaned in. “Your wish is my command.”   
This time it wasn’t sweet or hesitant at all – it was passionate.   
This time it was a kiss between two women who were absolutely _crazy_ for each other, a kiss between two people who knew exactly what to do and what they other wanted. Her hand went into Tricia’s hair as she – more or less – demanded entrance with the tip of her tongue, and she succeeded. The following sound was so sweet and innocent that it was disturbingly hot, and just the bare knowledge that she could drain these sounds out of Tricia without even doing much send her belly on fire.   
“This feels so good”, she whispered, right before attacking her again.   
Jack wanted to smile but she couldn’t, way to occupied with the absolutely wonder Tricia’s kisses were doing to her.   
“Kissing me?”, she breathed out in a moment of both of them gasping for air.   
She felt her nod. “Yeah.”   
Now she had to laugh, at first, because the next second Tricia’s hand was sliding up under her shirt and she gasped. “Honey if you do this again, your clothes won’t stay on.”   
Tricia wiggled her eyebrows, the grin on her face dangerously attractive. “Would that be such a problem?”   
“Usually no.”   
One eyebrow went up. “Usually?”   
“I don’t want to rush this.” She reached down to grab Tricia’s hand, placed a kiss on her knuckles. “Not with you.”   
Tricia nodded. All the heated passion, the one-second-more-and-I’ll-rip-your-clothes-off-aura was gone, replaced by comfort. “I like that.”   
Time went by. All Jack did was lovingly gaze at her, as if she were in trance, lulled in.

„Beautiful.“   
A simple word. But for her it had a thousand meanings. „You are so beautiful.“  
Tricia blinked and she knew she felt there was more to it.   
„I compliment Ellie all the time. I compliment Hollis all the time. I do it with Kasie. But … I never told them they were beautiful.“ She moved her thumb across her cheek, soft and smooth and so her. „I haven’t said this to anyone in a very, very long time. I don’t throw this word around like sugar packets. It’s a treasured adjective.“ Gently she pulled her close. „But YOU, you are absolutely _beautiful_. “   
She more felt than saw Tricia smile. There was no need for any more words, for neither of them. She tilted her head and their lips met for a second kiss in a perfect angle. Probably sounding strange, but Jack had always known she was a good kisser just by WATCHING her kiss on screen. Everything about her was alluring and sensual and pure, and it was more than simple attraction. She was so much more than just a pretty face.

It hit her moments after breaking apart again. “Oh god, I’m such a terrible host.” Signing she shook her head, gave her an apologetic look.   
Tricia snickered. “I didn’t come here for free drinks, Jack. No worries.”   
“So, a drink.” She padded her knee. “What can I get you?”  
“I suppose you don’t have Martini?”   
Jack smiled at the adorable way of her saying “martini”. “Sadly, no. But …” She took a look outside – it was getting dark already, and she figured it must be shortly before her usual dinner time.   
“The day is still young. Wanna go out?”   
The smile slightly faded, though only because it was clouded with caution. “We don’t have to, Jack.” It was a simple, outspoken equivalent for “You weren’t feeling well and I don’t want you do force yourself somewhere to go just because of me”.   
Such a kind sweetheart.   
“Oh but I want to. I like showing off.” Jack got up. “I like to show YOU off.”  
THAT made her laugh. “Well in that case, okay.”   
She took Jack’s offered hand and proposed: “Shell we take the bike?”   
Her eyes widened. “Going on a bike tour with the infamous Acting Outlaw Helfer?”   
Tricia grinned widely. And then she did the thing she had dreamed of doing since months. She stepped close, her arms loosely thrown around her waist and crossed behind her back. Which was actually more like her butt, but Jack didn’t mind THAT at all. Smiling up at her she said: “It would be my greatest pleasure.”

As they walked down the stairs she thought thought back to the day she took Tricia to meet the team for dinner. McGee almost faltered, Kasie was hardcore-crushing, they both recognized her from _Battlestar Galactica_ and both of them were absolutely starstruck. Nick was a gentleman, Ellie and her got along great as if they had known each other for eternity. And Gibbs … even Gibbs couldn’t go on without smiling every two minutes.

“By the way, I told Aimee about you and she’s dying to meet you.” Tricia reached her the second helmet. “You are so similar.”  
She had heard that Aimee was, apparently, a lot like her character Ella Lopez in real life, and if that was only remotely true, Jack was sure they’d get along great.   
“And whenever you feel like it … my bed is big enough for two, and I’m sure my cats would love to meet you.”   
Her heart jumped in happiness at the implication.   
“Is that an invitation?”  
Tricia pulled the helmet onto her head and gave her a smile. “See it as such, yes.”   
She said it with such a matter of course that Jack was standing like frozen, the helmet still in her hands, trying to put the pieces together, to make it clear for herself that this was actually happening.  
Tricia threw her left leg over the bike and gave her a look.   
“You coming, Sloane?”, she teased.   
She took a moment to stop and stare, take the picture in. No joke. Tricia on a motorbike was ridiculously hot. And she allowed herself to go for a dirty joke.   
“Looking at this, I soon will.”   
The sentence worked. She was sure if it weren’t for the helmet she would now see Tricia’s cheeks burning read.   
“Better postpone that for later, honey.”   
She said it with a tease, but it left Jack absolutely stunned. She didn’t expect an answer like that.   
“So …” She cleared her throat, amused by their banter. “Does that mean you’ll stay?”   
Tricia looked straight into her eyes. Even with 70 percent of her face covered in Kevlar she had an otherworldy effect on her. “If you like that?”   
What a question.   
“You should cancel that hotel room you are staying in.”   
Tricia smiled brightly and Jack finally pulled the helmet on, closed the clasp and took a seat behind her.   
“Did you ever think about naming your BMW “Caprica”?”  
Tricia laughed. “No. But it’s actually a good idea. But I should probably dye the spring forks red for that, and I’m not sure if that’s a good idea.” She started the motor.   
“Hm.” Jack snuggled closer and threw her arms around her waist. “Don’t think that’s necessary.” She pressed a kiss on Tricia’s shoulder, as much as that was possible with both their helmets on. “All that’s mandatory is the true Six.”

the true Six, who was hers. 


	3. ... and to the future

Cats, motorcycles, and red and lightblue dresses. Those were the things that reminded her the most of Tricia. That and maple leaves. And every single time she saw Nick on „Betty“, she felt a heaviness around her heart, pulling her down.

Tricia had left three weeks ago, shooting „Dracula“ and an episode on “Lucifer”. Her hair was shoulder long and blonde again, not that she minded that, what she minded was not being with her.   
She had thought she’d get over it – they both hadn’t been stupid enough to dance around the obvious problem of their living arrangements.

„What happens next?“, Tricia had asked one evening as they were wrapped in fluffy blankets on Jack’s couch – ONLY fluffy blankets. Hair ruffled, worn out, but more alive than Jack had felt in years.   
„You’re talking about the LA – DC thing, right?“   
She nodded.   
„I don’t know“, was Jack’s answer, because that was the only truth.   
„We will try to make it work?“ It was asked as a question, and the insecurity in her voice only made Jack want, _need_ her more. So she looked at her, brown eyes burning into blue, as she spoke firmly: „We will.“

And now SHE was the one barely hanging on. They texted almost every day and tried to Facetime as often it was possible – but the distance wasn’t the only problem. It wasn’t the time difference, mostly, it was her working hours being totally off with Tricia’s, and the fact there was always one of them who was exhausted – either her in the mornings or Tricia in the evening. IF she was even available in the evening, or the morning, since Dracula usually lived in the dark.

She knew everyone knew. The fact that all of them loved Tricia – especially after she had send McGee a signed Lucifer-poster a few months ago and promised Nick she’d show him the best motorbike tour around LA one day - made it a double. They felt bad for BOTH of them. Gibbs gave her his silent „Wanna talk? Just gimme a nod“ look. Nick was going soft on her, McGee avoiding every relationship-talk as possible, Kasie tried to cheer her up, and Ellie – Ellie was the only one brave enough to break the silence.

„You have to make a decision.“   
The thing was …   
„I already did.“   
Judging by the look of her friend, Ellie did not expect that kind of an answer at all. „You did?“  
She nodded.   
„Then …“ Ellie sat down opposite of her. „Why do you keep on living without any change?“

They had had this conversation two weeks ago.   
And the topic came up again. With one added aspect.

„I’m not sad because of being apart from Tricia. She’s not the reason.“   
Ellie was clearly confused. „And … what is it?“   
„It’s this. Here. Everything.“  
„With this you mean …“  
„I can’t keep on working at NCIS, Ellie.“   
And it was out. The sentence she had been dreading, the sentence she had been fearing to speak out loud.

After a little – more or less – shock of that revelation Ellie put the pieces together.   
Can’t work as a forensic shrink anymore.   
Must leave DC.   
There is someone who makes me happy.   
I’m happier with her than doing what I do.

„You are the first one who knows.“   
„I’m honored.“ Ellie had pulled herself together, and as they almost both broke out into tears they had made such fun out of it that by now, they were tears of laughter.   
„She doesn’t know. At least … not really.“   
Ellie’s eyebrow went up. „Meaning?“  
„Well.“ Jack signed. „I did mention something to her, about not being sure if I was really doing what I loved doing, and you know her.“   
„Yeah.“ Ellie smiled. „She’s a true „Don’t do stuff you don’t like, however big the risk, go for what makes you happy“-kind of woman.“   
„She is.“ Jack nodded, picturing a scene of Tricia on her BMW-bike, grinning and waving at her. “That’s one of the many things I love about her.”  
„Call her.“ With that Ellie threw her phone into her lap. “Now.”  
Jack caught a look on the time. 19.23 DC time, which meant around 16

If she was lucky, she was

“Are you sure?”   
Ellie gave her a reaised-eyebrow look. “Jack. You already know it, don’t you?” She closed her eyes, signed. She’d leave them behind. Her team, her family, the people who had changed her life for a better, Faith, …  
“If you think about what makes you happy, what is the first thing coming to your mind? What do you see if you think about your future?”  
Waking up and sleeping in next to Tricia. Fiona walking past the laptop camera and the team laughing about it. Surfing in between work. Sunset walks with Tricia, holding hands. Meeting the Lucifer cast. Binging series with Aimee, getting cramps of laughter with Lauren and Lesley-Ann. Going on bike tours with Tricia and Katee. Tricia waiting for her on the university parking lot to pick her up after her first day. Talking to students after classes. Teaching them, laughing with them. The team coming over, Gibbs renting a boat, Hollis and her diving.   
And Tricia, all over.   
Jack smiled and opened her eyes. “You are right.”

She pressed the green button. Waited five beeps. Then the line cracked, and Tricia’s smiley voice greeted her with a “Hey, I missed you”.   
She looked at her friend, the young blonde with the sunny smile, someone who she knew understood and didn’t hold any grudges.

“Hey honey”, she said back, not taking her eyes off of Ellie.   
One side of her was crushed with sadness as she looked at her.   
The other side of hers heard Tricia’s voice in her ear and was happier than she had ever been.

And then Ellie smiled, and she smiled, too.   
Yes. It was the right decision. 

„Your offer still valid about me staying over at your house whenever I felt time is right?“

The pure happiness she felt even through miles of distance gave her enough strength to cut the ropes. It was the last push she needed to start a new life, all over, with a person by her side who loved her at her best just as at her worst, and with friends she knew she’d always count on, even if they were miles apart.

Because friendship did not know borders. It persisted.

**Author's Note:**

> would appreciate it if you'd leave some comments :) 
> 
> oh, and if there is anyone who loves Tricia / Charlotte / her other characters, feel freeto find me on Instagram


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